Happy Thanksgiving to all. We will be spending this day at home and enjoying a meal later in the evening. Mark works today so dinner will be around 7:00 P.M.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
A sister lost - Never forgotten
I really don't like this daylight savings thing. It leaves me dragging, I don't stay motivated and am more distracted. I don't like it getting dark earlier, it makes me want to sleep more. I was going around the house gathering towels to wash, not moving with the speed I normally would. I walked into my bathroom to gather towels , I looked up on a shelf and noticed a box. I dropped my armful of towels on the floor and took the box down. I looked inside the box, it was full of letters and cards from my parents house. I walked into my bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, oh well the towels can wait a bit longer.
I pulled the letters out, some were from my paternal grandfather. These were from when my grandmother had been diagnosed with cancer to her death. I never knew a lot of things about this. I live in a don't ask because we won't tell family. I learned a few things I had never known. One of which is the strength my grandparents had during this time. I set these aside. I found a card from my brother, he is estranged from the family. The card was to our mother, signed Love Lewis. I set that one aside.
I came across a sympathy card. I couldn't remember who had died. I then pulled more out, all sympathy cards, then one caught my eye. One of sympathy a the loss of a child. At first I could not recall a child being last in the 1980's then it hit me. My sister, Linda. Every emotion of the day she passed hit me at once like a giant wave. She was young, in her 40's, she had a brain aneurysm. She left behind a husband and three teenage children.
I then remembered just a few months before she passed, our last visit with just the two of us. I was living in Reno at the time. I was going through some things and she called one day and said she was coming up. We spent a week together, it was great. We got to talk about everything. We hit every second hand shop and antique shop in the Reno area. She was an antique nut and I learned a few things from her. I remembered having some cheese and crackers with a nice glass of wine on the back patio. Watching the birds hit the bird feeders that hung under the grape arbor. We talked about her kids and what she hoped for each of them. We talked about our future, we also talked about death. A very odd subject for Linda. We talked about what I had been going through, it was a tough time for me. She told me not to let "these" people get me down, that I was better than that. We talked about her problems with "these" people and the don't ask we won't tell policy our family had. I learned her husband and children were her world and that was great.
Linda was born premature in 1947, she was the youngest premie to survive in Orange, Texas at that time. Linda was my confidant, although she was 17 when I was born I could tell her anything. She never judged and never told. When I moved from Kindergarten to first grade she bought me a Barbie tent, I still have that little red and blue tent. She was forgiving of any arguments in the family. She loved to have holiday dinners at her house. She was a great cook. She also loved to garden. She made these sweaters, that were knitted on a machine with angora woven in. I still have mine and my mothers. I keep them in a safe place so they will stay in one piece. We drove back to Las Vegas from Reno. We drove at night, she told me to be careful and if any rabbits got in the way not to swerve and get us killed. She said she wanted to get home alive, that she hadn't seen her husband in a week. She also told me I would learn when I was in my forties that sex was important to a woman in her forties. That totally cracked me up then, now I understand what she was saying. I am so glad we had that time together. I will remember it always.
I miss her to this very day. She has grandchildren now. I know she would love that so much. She told me she was looking forward to the day she had grandchildren to spoil. Her kids are grown and I hope happy adults and they are wonderful parents. I hope each of them remembers to spend some special time with each other because you just never know. I think I will plant some morning glories to remind me of her. I know just the spot.
Maybe daylight savings time has one good point. It slows us down enough to take a walk down memory lane.
I pulled the letters out, some were from my paternal grandfather. These were from when my grandmother had been diagnosed with cancer to her death. I never knew a lot of things about this. I live in a don't ask because we won't tell family. I learned a few things I had never known. One of which is the strength my grandparents had during this time. I set these aside. I found a card from my brother, he is estranged from the family. The card was to our mother, signed Love Lewis. I set that one aside.
I came across a sympathy card. I couldn't remember who had died. I then pulled more out, all sympathy cards, then one caught my eye. One of sympathy a the loss of a child. At first I could not recall a child being last in the 1980's then it hit me. My sister, Linda. Every emotion of the day she passed hit me at once like a giant wave. She was young, in her 40's, she had a brain aneurysm. She left behind a husband and three teenage children.
I then remembered just a few months before she passed, our last visit with just the two of us. I was living in Reno at the time. I was going through some things and she called one day and said she was coming up. We spent a week together, it was great. We got to talk about everything. We hit every second hand shop and antique shop in the Reno area. She was an antique nut and I learned a few things from her. I remembered having some cheese and crackers with a nice glass of wine on the back patio. Watching the birds hit the bird feeders that hung under the grape arbor. We talked about her kids and what she hoped for each of them. We talked about our future, we also talked about death. A very odd subject for Linda. We talked about what I had been going through, it was a tough time for me. She told me not to let "these" people get me down, that I was better than that. We talked about her problems with "these" people and the don't ask we won't tell policy our family had. I learned her husband and children were her world and that was great.
Linda was born premature in 1947, she was the youngest premie to survive in Orange, Texas at that time. Linda was my confidant, although she was 17 when I was born I could tell her anything. She never judged and never told. When I moved from Kindergarten to first grade she bought me a Barbie tent, I still have that little red and blue tent. She was forgiving of any arguments in the family. She loved to have holiday dinners at her house. She was a great cook. She also loved to garden. She made these sweaters, that were knitted on a machine with angora woven in. I still have mine and my mothers. I keep them in a safe place so they will stay in one piece. We drove back to Las Vegas from Reno. We drove at night, she told me to be careful and if any rabbits got in the way not to swerve and get us killed. She said she wanted to get home alive, that she hadn't seen her husband in a week. She also told me I would learn when I was in my forties that sex was important to a woman in her forties. That totally cracked me up then, now I understand what she was saying. I am so glad we had that time together. I will remember it always.
I miss her to this very day. She has grandchildren now. I know she would love that so much. She told me she was looking forward to the day she had grandchildren to spoil. Her kids are grown and I hope happy adults and they are wonderful parents. I hope each of them remembers to spend some special time with each other because you just never know. I think I will plant some morning glories to remind me of her. I know just the spot.
Maybe daylight savings time has one good point. It slows us down enough to take a walk down memory lane.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Out with the old
I woke up this morning around 2:30 A.M. I knew something had woken me so I laid there until I could figure out what it was. Pop, pop, pop, this is what had awoken me. We had our bedroom window open and this sound was drifting in from across the valley. I realized what it was, I also realized my husband was now awake listening. I told him, they are imploding the Frontier. He asked if I knew why, I said oh you know "out with the old, in with the new".
I laid there and listened to this pop, pop, pop, for what seemed a long time. It was in fact only a few minutes. I could hear dogs from a great distance barking. I was amazed at how far the sound had traveled but even Vegas quiets down at some point. The pop, pop, pop ended and another sound followed. The building falling, it reminded me of a large animal laying down. I imagined what the dinosaurs sounded like as they laid down their death. Then the dogs stopped barking and everything got quiet. I felt a great sadness at this quiet, a deep loss.
I remember when the Desert Inn was imploded, and the Landmark and others. Always out with the old in with the new. This is sad in a way. No more of the Flamingo, the hotel Bugsy Sielgel purchased in the 1940's. The Sands, the Silver Slipper, hotels owned by the Late Howard Hughes are now also gone. The hotel and casinos that had some of the greatest performers are now gone. When Las Vegas celebrated its 150th birthday in 2005 they had a hard time finding memorabilia for it. Well no kidding, we get rid of all our old buildings, and things as fast as we can. I find this sad. This is not my Las Vegas anymore, I miss the old. I used to love when we drove past the Desert Inn, it had a huge golf course and was surrounded by trees. I always thought it would be a great place to play. A child sees everything as a chance to play. Out with the old in with the new.
I finally dozed off, but in my mind I started thinking of another question that has been asked a lot in our family.
North or South, go or stay.
I laid there and listened to this pop, pop, pop, for what seemed a long time. It was in fact only a few minutes. I could hear dogs from a great distance barking. I was amazed at how far the sound had traveled but even Vegas quiets down at some point. The pop, pop, pop ended and another sound followed. The building falling, it reminded me of a large animal laying down. I imagined what the dinosaurs sounded like as they laid down their death. Then the dogs stopped barking and everything got quiet. I felt a great sadness at this quiet, a deep loss.
I remember when the Desert Inn was imploded, and the Landmark and others. Always out with the old in with the new. This is sad in a way. No more of the Flamingo, the hotel Bugsy Sielgel purchased in the 1940's. The Sands, the Silver Slipper, hotels owned by the Late Howard Hughes are now also gone. The hotel and casinos that had some of the greatest performers are now gone. When Las Vegas celebrated its 150th birthday in 2005 they had a hard time finding memorabilia for it. Well no kidding, we get rid of all our old buildings, and things as fast as we can. I find this sad. This is not my Las Vegas anymore, I miss the old. I used to love when we drove past the Desert Inn, it had a huge golf course and was surrounded by trees. I always thought it would be a great place to play. A child sees everything as a chance to play. Out with the old in with the new.
I finally dozed off, but in my mind I started thinking of another question that has been asked a lot in our family.
North or South, go or stay.
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