It has been a while since I blogged. I have been very busy with family problems. My dad moved in four years ago. He was hospitalized with several health problems including malnutrition. Now four years later and several hospital stays things are worse. His health is bad and his mental state is worse. I thought he was malnourished due to mild depression. No, he has dementia. I am now facing the hardest and most heartbreaking decision of a lifetime. I must find a care facility for my father. This is not an easy thing to do. He has become too hard to handle here. He has caused a major rift in my family and marriage. He is mean, angry and just flat out cruel. He prowls my home at all hours taking things and stashing them in his room. He treats my husband like a villain and flat out hates two of our children. THIS IS NOT MY FATHER. I have to say he has never been a warm fuzzy person but he has never been like this. He was put back in the hospital late November and moved from there to a rehab center. They called me one day and said, "hey your dad is ready to come home". THEY LIED. He won't bathe, won't shave and refuses every other meal. What is heart breaking is that he worked for the State Of Nevada for 52 years then retired. Instead of traveling and enjoying life he sat at home. He would come here for dinner but otherwise refused to do much. He stacked and stacked his home and yard with junk, paper, cans and such. I now see this is all a sign of the dementia. I just wish he had done something fun. Traveled and visited with friends and family. I wish he had dated and over enjoyed life. Dementia is cruel in that a person can deteriorate so slowly it is hard to see. Once you do see it and look back you can't understand why you didn't see it clearly before. I have learned one thing, I will live my life with more happiness.