Caleb

Caleb is my third child. He was born with red hair and has managed to keep it. Caleb was a quiet baby. His father, his pediatrician and our families did not believe me that he smiled or spoke. He only smiled late at night when it was just the two of us up for his feedings. I would take him into the living room and sit in a rocker and nurse him. He would smile then and for months only then. He spoke very little and never to anyone until he was 3 years old. He walked when he was over a year, potty trained at 3. He would not just do things, he seemed to have to work it out then just get to it.

My favorite memory of Caleb was when he was about 4 years old. We had a doctors appointment and I stayed outside with him. We found a little patch of grass full of dandelions. I picked one and blew the cottony seeds everywhere. He watched me but said nothing. Then he picked one and tried it. Then he looked at me, I mean looked AT me, in the eye. We had connected, and we blew dandelions for about an hour while my husband took our oldest in to the doctors.

Caleb was 5 when he started school like most children. I was homeschooling through a charter school back then. He was to start testing to see where he needed to be started. The teacher took him back and was only gone 5 minutes. He returned with Caleb in tow. I thought, OMG the child refused to speak to him. The teacher was laughing. When I asked if it went well he told me Caleb had invoked his constitutional rights not to be tested. I informed him my home was a dictatorship and demanded he tell me where my son had learned this. He just laughed at me, this teacher was really getting on my nerves now. He said they could not force the child to test. Caleb tested two weeks later when he was good and ready. I was then informed he was a very bright child and educating him could be a problem.

Caleb then spent that entire year with a teacher that he disliked. Now if Caleb dislikes someone he flat out dislikes them. Should it get to be too much Caleb then puts a wall up and this person is no longer on the planet. I have a friend he is like this with, she has never done a thing to offend him as far as we can tell but he really dislikes her. My husbands mother is not a favorite of his either. She is a good person and very kind to him. Still he has no attachment to her, he will usually act like she isn't in the same room. I can insist he acknowledge her and he will and he will be civil but there is nothing more to it.

It took me a long time to understand when he would come up hug me and tell me he hated me, he really meant he loves me. Somewhere he had gotten a wire crossed. He has learned to control his temper and his outbursts but they still plague him when stress builds up. He is an amazing child and I love that he is the way he is. He loves with all of himself just like he can dislike with every ounce of himself. He has insisted he can not read but we recently was quoting facts from a book written for state employees on how to handle and transport nuclear waste. Yes he can read he just doesn't want anyone knowing, well he lets me know he can read.

Now he is 9 years old soon to be 10. He still loves to blow dandelions and grow plants. Now he wants a vinegarroon. This is a whip tailed scorpion. NO WAY is this happening. He tells me this is a opportunity for scientific observation. Smart kid, as I have stated. He has a rat terrier that is with him almost all the time. I am pretty sure she would not love this new addition either. I think I will look into some more plants for him, exotic ones. He wants to be a medical botanist when he grows up and I am pretty sure he will make it. I just hope he realizes he needs to test in college and can not refuse to read or write for professors. He may also be just as happy being an anarchist.

Caleb sees things differently and does them his own way. I love that about him. Yes he can blow up and get frustrated, but he will usually keep at something. I can always take him and find a field of dandelions and he will quiet down and blow cottony seeds into the air for as long as we have them there to blow. We don't have to speak to each other, just quietly spread seeds all over the grass. I don't pull dandelions when I spot them on my lawn. I leave them there to let them grow. They represent one special day with my third child. This is a child that may not say a lot to people he has just met or sometimes to people he has known a lifetime. This is a child that will spend three hours with a foal that won't come near anyone else but him. Him speaking quietly and this foal with its neck wrapped around his head grooming his hair. Animals take him him right away. Little girls his age follow him around just wanting to be near him. He on the other hand puts his hands in his pockets and does his own thing. This is Caleb.